"I've been through the desert on a horse with no name...."

Perhaps it's the passage of the Christmas season, but I've spent much time this week thinking about the idea of embodiment. I was flipping through a magazine and found a picture of a beautiful Indian vase. It represented perfectly the metaphor of "vessel." You all might be familiar with the idea of the human body as a vessel for energy. My Inner Constellation practice is based on this belief and that we can control in every way what goes into our vessels. What do I allow to fill me today, who inspires me? I considered first my list of personal heroes, those who have most influenced my development: Joan of Arc, Edgar Cayce, Rumi, Black Madonna, Terese of Lisieux, the list goes on and on...and on and on. I thought of the inspiration that their existences have awarded me, how they continue to fill my vessel; however, as in any energy exchange, I wish to enhance their contributions and make them my own. One of the Inner Constellation ideals is: energy never dies, it only changes form. How do I embody my heroes, those who attained their North Stars?

Sometimes dream time provides the best answers. Within twenty-four hours of pondering the above questions, I dreamed of riding a horse. We traveled through a ravine between two mountains. It was a simple dream. Yet, I experienced, most viscerally, having traveled a great distance with ease. I woke with the understanding that personal heroes are like "horses," they aid me in the challenges of life and share in the distribution of the burden, but...I hold the reins. I'm the one in the saddle directing my life. I could of course, jump off, swat the horse on the rump and go it alone, but I suspect I wouldn't get as far and would tire easier. There's a line from Dewey Bunnell's song, "Horse With No Name," that might shed even more light:

"After nine days, I let the horse run free
cause the desert had turned to sea."

I believe one of the best ways to honor a life well-lived is not by holding the individual at a haloed arm's length, but to strike out and become the inspired. One of my favorite energy techniques that sustains me daily is to truly engage with my heroes--read their words, visit their lands (Google Images can help:), experience what they experienced, envision them in my space as I sit in stillness, journal, self-administer meridian therapy or move through my day.

Thanks for entertaining my ponderings. I love hearing from you and engaging in Inner Constellation conversation. It's my great joy. OK, off to bed with me. Remember, if a horse happens to visit you in dream-time, don't forget to ask its name. You might be surprised at the response!

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas!!!

"Oh, if you only knew yourselves! You are souls; you are gods. If ever I feel [that I am] blaspheming, it is when I call you man."

Swami Vivekananda

When I read the above quote this week of Christmas it reminded me of something Jesus said. He had been accused of blasphemy for calling himself, "Son of God." He defended himself with a similar response, "Do your own scriptures not say, 'You are gods?'"

Today I ponder the celebration of a baby who identified himself as child of the Almighty by fully embodying Source Energy in the form of a human body. He emphasized he was not an exception and encouraged others to his god-like standard, saying "greater things shall you do." Do we, like Jesus, understand our potential for holiness? Do we know the great works we are capable of achieving?

Joy, peace, love, hope--these are attributes of the Christmas season. Everyday we can practice incarnating these North Stars through our words and actions. Today, may we be reminded of our precious natures and the powers within to reflect the same in others. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Winter Solstice Challenge

Did ya'll know that from today, December 22, onward we gain 3 minutes of sunlight each day? How awesome is that! Winter Solstice heralds the return of increased light to the land until Summer Solstice, when the cycle reverses itself. When I heard the 3 minute tidbit, I conjured up an Inner Constellation Challenge, and here it is:

Commit to sit for 3 minutes each day from now until Summer Solstice (June 21) while intending two things:

• quieting the mind
• opening the heart

Here's a tip that helps me benefit from 3 minutes of increased light: consider placing your hand on your heart while simply breathing easily but fully. Doing these two things naturally brings focus to the heart-center. I believe you might be surprised with the light that comes in. I want to hear your insights. Send me an email, drop me a line, accept this Inner Constellation Challenge, let there be light!

Rumi, Beloved Son

Today, December 17, is the Urs of Rumi, the anniversary of the death of the Sufi poet, Jelaluddin Rumi. This day is observed by Sufis much as a “feast day” is observed in the Christian tradition. In honor of this mind-blowing poet, I’m highlighting him in the Freedom Series. I got to pondering, what made Rumi free? I come back to his practice of turning toward Creator at every opportunity. The “turn,” or moving meditation done by the dervishes, is said to have originated with Rumi, and is not only metaphoric but physical. Dervish literally means, “doorway,” an ecstatic dance of surrender whereby the one who turns is pulled ever toward the center of the universe, the empty space where human and divine meet. Definitely sounds like an Inner Constellation metaphor to me! Rumi was a matzub, or holy person, who not only arrived at union or presence but expressed the turning toward his North Star most beautifully. Enough jibber-jabber, it’s time for some of my favorite Rumi lines—let the man speak for himself!

• "Stop the words now.
  Open the window in the center of your chest,
  and let the spirits fly in and out."
  
  
• "Let the beauty we love be what we do.
  There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."
  
  
•  “These pains you feel are messengers.
  Listen to them. Turn them to sweetness.”
  
  
•  “Let the beloved be a hat pulled down firmly on my head.”
  
  
•   “The universe and the light of the stars come through me.
  I am the crescent moon put up
  over the gate of the festival.”
  
  
•  “Listen to the presence inside poems,
  Let them take you where they will.
  Follow those private hints,
  and never leave the premises.”

Tribute to Hannah

Tribute to Hannah
©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

Woke on December 12, 2011 with heavy heart,
a rare but familiar feeling I call—holy dark.

Check in with family, all is well.
Finally at 3:00p, still can’t shake it,
drop all distractions
and go for a run,
open up,
and pound sweet, forgiving earth with rhythmic prayer.

Arrive home and uncharacteristically turn on the TV.
Anderson Cooper’s face appears.
He interviews psychic-medium, John Edward.
I watch, along with an awe-struck audience,
as he parts some unseen veil
and translates intimate memories
from departed loved ones on the other side.
Turn off the TV and ask, “What does this day mean?”

Wake the following morn
and after hearing from a friend know the answer—
Hannah.
I ponder what John Edward said—
everything is energy,
the soul changes form like water: solid turns liquid, then gas.

Do you, Dear Hannah, agree?

Jewish name means, “grace,”
so named for eighteen years: flowing, ease of movement.
Enter in and comfort now,
all left on this side of the recently parted veil,
catching glimpses of your form so full of grace—
Beloved Hannah.

"There will be a revolution!"

I have long had a love for words. The other day, I gave this one a pondering—“revolution.” Where does your mind go when you hear the word? Here’s an offering before diving in….

Revolution
©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

A decade ago, on the eve of Candlemas, a voice spoke—
“There will be a revolution.”
Those were fighting words,
or so I interpreted at the time.

Years of being lost in translation transpired, until…
now, when I hear the word, “revolution,”
I immediately drop down
into the central fire,
and literally turn—as moon around the sun,
dark revolves toward light,
head revolves to heart.

I had to fight a war before I could surrender.

I wrote this poem in preparation for entering an annual 40 day retreat that’s soon approaching. Why the retreat? I don’t actually go anywhere except inside. It’s my time of the year to check in with my translations of life, set my priorities and define my North Stars. Everything on the outside putts around as normal while I turn, turn ever more, turn toward what is lasting and true. What the heck is lasting and true: love, peace, joy, hope and freedom, to name a few. Nothing else cuts through the crap (excuse my languageJ) and transforms like these North Stars. Do I choose to fight a war with others or turn, turn ever more toward what I know to be lasting and true?

  

Do you know how loved you are?

"Yogini" by Karla Johnston & Punkin

It's 20 degrees in the sunshine today, and I decided to do my body practice indoors (body practice, huh? Read my Inner Constellation Compendium). My yoga moves caught my cat's attention and she revived out of a dead sleep, sauntered over and began chewing on my braid (I was in Child's Pose). Then, as I entered into Up Dog, she collapsed beneath me, obstructing my path. I proceeded anyway, like I usually do, so she moved off to the side (just a little) and began rolling on her head in the sunshine. Now, she's a flirtatious little creature and knew this antic always captures my attention. So, of course, I went into Corpse Pose early and lay down beside her, head-to-head.

Have I told you I believe cat's have the power of telepathy? Between her contented little grunts, I heard this still voice, "Do you know how loved you are?" My heart swelled, and I had to fight the urge to draw her closer. But, she's taught me over the years how to be a good cat owner, so rather than disturb her, I opened my heart even fuller and simply soaked, just like my kitty in the sunshine. As I was soaking, I had an insight: if I had expressed my heart's fullness by scooping her up, rather than getting closer to the affection, I would have actually interfered with her contentment--true love respects one's autonomy. Another a-ha followed: love, joy, peace, contentment, those energies I classify as feeling-good, cannot be grasped or held onto but operate best when allowed to expand.

Well, with these realizations transmitted, the Yogini rolled onto her back and went even deeper into her quivering-paw Goodness. Do you know how absolutely loved you are?

Overlay of Spirit

I was thinking the other day that the spiritual world seems overlaid atop the waking world (i.e. "real" world). The day I came to this conclusion, I was privy to a Geology class whereby the students were instructed to "overlay your lab sheet on top of the map and trace accordingly." I smiled and took it as a sign--case in point.

I live my life committed to paying attention to signs and wonders, and actually depend on the communication of the world around me to reflect if I'm on my Charted Course. I believe this practice might have begun when I was struggling with a decision, and a dear friend of mine suggested I ask for signs. I did so and was amazed at the clear sign posts reflected in my natural world.

Overlay of Spirit also brings up the idea of a benevolent power which interacts with us, a creative force initiated by our thoughts, words and actions. I've experienced this time and again, especially in relation to my writings and the inspirations that show up, indicating to me that I'm on the right track with a character or story line. If the spiritual realm is overlaid over top your world today, what's being communicated?

This Idea of Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving, Peeps! I woke up this morning thinking of a habit I’ve developed over the last year or so—giving thanks at the end of the day for all the day’s blessings, big and small. I do it as I’m driving home from work as a perfect way to unwind and set my heart in a position of gratitude before greeting my family. I began the practice after reading an article interviewing elders living into their 80’s and beyond on the number one ingredient to a happy life—you guessed it, gratitude. For me, this idea of giving thanks as a daily practice has proven an effective way to keep me on track, literally Charting my Course toward what I want versus what I don’t want.  Whatever one gives attention to increases, and by giving thanks, I increase the good. I’ve also implemented “gratitude tapping” into my daily meridian tapping routine. Once my symptoms are alleviated, I tap in the blessings. When I do this, I often notice my SUD levels drastically fall as I experience giving and receiving deep in my tissues. It's a giving thanks miracle! This Thanksgiving consider extending the idea of giving thanks to a daily creative practice and you will experience abundance and increase beyond a single holiday.   

Dream Yourself Awake Part 2

After writing Dream Yourself Awake Part 1, I decided to dedicate some blog space to Asklepios, a Greek physician who lived around 1200 BC. In spite of having a tricky name to pronounce, Asklepios eventually became deified as the god of healing and medicine. He's often depicted as a kindly bearded man holding a serpent-entwined staff. This staff is still used today as a symbol for medicine, often confused with the caduceus--a rod etwined by two snakes and topped with wings. The caduceus is an ancient symbol for Hermes, the god of commerce and theft (I'll leave that interesting screw-up to your imagination, lest I get distracted!).

We know of over 320 Asklepian Medical Sanctuaries in Ancient Greece that housed dream alcoves, wherein ill people would enter with intentions of finding cures for whatever ailed them. Thousands of testimonies report cures delivered in the dream realm over the span of 2,000 years, with people repeatedly saying they were visited by the deceased Asklepios. I like the idea of dream healing for a number of reasons--first is the idea that entering one's internal universe brings remedy. Our Inner Constellation is that universe, but it's not limited only to this waking, tangible world. Second, help is not limited to living, breathing people but includes beings who have passed from physical form. I see no better physician than energy itself, working on one's Inner Constellation when we grant permission to do so. Next time you go to sleep, consider dreaming a cure for whatever ails you.

Dream Yourself Awake

"Blue Egyptian Eye" by Jayde Kyst (DeviantArt.com)

The word for dream in ancient Egypt is “rswt,” the root meaning, “to be awake" and is represented by an open eye. Many cultures believe that dream time is actually the real world, and the everyday world is the dream. Throughout history, dreams have been seen as portals to other dimensions, including one's Inner Constellation. Using dreams for guidance is an age-old practice. In ancient Greece, the people had sleeping caves they visited with the sole intent to enter the dream time and receive instruction on healing conditions of the body, mind or spirit, the most famous being the Sanctuary of Epidaurus. This place deserves a blog article dedicated to it alone however, so stay tuned for Dream Yourself Awake Part 2. For now, a bit of poetry to get us in the dreaming mood, inspired by an evening spent sleeping under the stars: 

Luna

©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

Slithering snake-like through river-fed grass,
basking on turquoise rock
as sunshine burns by,
in mere moments sets with crimson fire.

White-dusted Milky Way and blazing, shooting stars
trail past lidded eyes, cobalt-blue.

Am I the dreamed, or did I dream you? 

Angel on One Shoulder, Devil on the Other

"A Complex Choice" by Ixilder (DeviantArt.com)

The following picture expresses a metaphor most of us have experienced. I was thinking the other day about the dialogue continuously running inside one's head and the capacity for inner-talk to either nurture or condemn, not only the listener but all those interacting with the listening one. I began seeing "the voice" inside one's head from the perspective of energy. One of my Inner Constellation truths is that energy never dies, it just changes form. Who's voice is replaying in my head? Is it mine? My relatives? An ancestor even further back who passed the nurturing or condemning voice down through the family line? Is it a beloved one or someone hurtful? A wise counselor or baneful adversary? Did it originate from a book I read or show that I viewed? To me, the source isn't as important as is these two factors:

1) Do I attend and identify with the voice, giving it expression within me?

2) Is the voice helpful (angel on my shoulder) or hindering (devil on my shoulder)?

Wherever the voice originates, do I wish to give energy to its continuance? Does my inner-talk support what is hopeful and good, or is it despairing and critical? What we attend to will increase, this is a natural law. Do my thoughts increase what it is I want, or what it is I don't want?

The other day, a friend of mine used the old adage, "Easier said than done." (who originally spoke those words into existence? And was it the angel talking or the devil?). I prefer to turn the adage around, "Easier done than said." Let's stop yapping and step into conscious action-tap the little devils away (with meridian tapping, of course), keep persisting until no vestiges remain and then fill up with goodness. In the words of my favorite heroine, Joan of Arc, "I was the angel, there was no other."  She's speaking to you, my friend. 

"Sail on Silver Girl...."

Life can be distracting. Or better put, I can get easily distracted by life! This weekend I had yet to settle in to write as I had promised myself and instead was proceeding through my “to do” list. The little voice in my head (probably the good angel) said, “There will always be something else to do.” As the truth of these words digested, I noticed, “writing” had never made it to my “to-do” list. OK, point well-taken. I laid down the list and picked up my journal. I began pondering priorities or as described in my Inner Constellation work—North Stars.  Where do I keep my sights in spite of all other distractions jockeying for my attention? What keeps me on course and heading in the right direction? I can feel my North Star a changing, and that’s not a bad thing if I’m conscious of the change. One of my North Stars is compassion.  This priority has taken center stage for awhile, however my focus goes even deeper. My present North Star is best described as freedom: where as compassion is a condition of the heart, freedom is a state of mind. What am I allowing to come between me and absolute freedom? Where are my resistances or hard edges? For me all these questions are best answered by working with the energy stirred up…oh, and poetry of course:)

Land Gives Way to Water

Walk on solid ground,
over shifts and fractures where ever they are found.
North Star the gentle guide,
Inner Constellation the map to confide.
Only by stopping and becoming still will I arrive upon the shore—
a subtle, streaming boundary
between me and thee.
Star-studded surface reflects the choice
to enter in, shed the skin,
ride silver-rooted waters.

Energy Vessels

Since arriving home from my ACEP workshop (Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology), I’ve been pouring over my notes and digesting the material learned. I woke a few mornings ago with a snippet in my head and thought it expanded on my Inner Constellation metaphor so nicely, it deserved a blog article. Here’s the dream phrase:

“We are vessels of energy. We are vessels for energy.”

“Vessels of  Energy”
Mind, Heart, Nervous System—three parts of the energetic anatomy that continually pulse signals throughout the body, mirroring how we perceive and interact with our environment. Thoughts and feelings trigger electrical impulses that can be measured 8 feet or more from the body and reflect either coherence or incoherence in the body system. Like lines connecting the stars in a constellation, the meridian paths distribute the body’s energy mix through the body, but it doesn't stop there. Our constellation (or energetic imprint) goes out into the environment where it continues to pulse its influence.

“Vessels for Energy”
 Not only is energy generated by our bodies but energy is generated and distributed by all of nature’s creation. Creation’s Energy is ours to access and utilize without limit. In the Inner Constellation metaphor, Creation’s Energy is the night sky surrounding the constellation and attributing to its brightness. I'll let you all in on a little secret--"Creation's Energy" is my equivalent to "God." Every single thing is energy, it never dies it only changes form, and lastly, we are energy! Blasphemy, utter blasphemy! Nah, consider it a responsibility, read on...

How empty is the Vessel?
If you’ve ever been in a city and looked up at the sky, you’ll notice the stars are washed out by the interference of artificial light. In the same way, clouds can cover star light too, and even though they’re shining bright, their influence is blocked. In a similar way, repeated discursive thoughts, feelings, or sensations can create blocks or clouds to accessing the flow of energy intended for our replenishment. Creation’s Energy is accessible always, similar to the black night sky surrounding the constellation. However, if we’re standing in the middle of the city or are surrounded by clouds overhead, Creation’s Energy won’t be experienced.

Empty the Vessel: Getting rid of interference allows creation’s restorative energy to flow. You guys already know my favorite way to do this—meridian tapping. By tapping on acupressure points (stars in our constellation) the log jams are removed and the lines connecting our points flush the system and leave us open to receive. So high-tail it out of the city and into a little stillness and tap on your blessed points! To do so is a practice in good emotional hygiene.

Fill the Vessel: Once the clouds are removed, then it’s time to fill it up with every good thing, as many good things as possible: beloved companionship, sweet music, nourishing food, inspirational writings, gratitude and appreciation. The list goes on. We are influencing vessels of energy and receptive vessels for energy—let restorative energy in and give it out to others. Flow, vessels flow, for energy’s source never runs dry! 

"Electrified, I'm on a wire...."

I've been thinking lately of the perfection of the nervous system. Many folks are surprised to find that not only does the nervous system direct all bodily functions, but it also protects and heals. When we perceive distress, our miraculous protection modes kick in, often referred to as, "fight, flight, or freeze." The nervous system adapts in a split second to manage any threat with the sole goal being survival. After the threat has passed, the nervous system then instantaneously begins the process of healing. Often when working with someone experiencing pain in any form, be it emotional or physical, I go immediately to the nervous system, with the intention of engaging the body's natural healing process. How is this done? My two favorite methods are:

1) Meridian Tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - a simple, self-administered technique best described as acupuncture without needles. By consciously tapping on pressure points the body's electrical system is accessed to increase blood flow and release pain and/or trauma from the body. By electrical system, I'm referring to one's energetic anatomy: 1) Mind 2) Heart 3) Nervous System

2) Writing - this form of expression is the most effective way I've found to connect and capture what's going on inside my body or the bodies of my clients. I share inspirational, tailored offerings with clients who are also inclined to this form of expression.

The nervous system is our wiring system and without it we could not survive, function or heal. It's also our connection to the outside world and a mirror of our perception of it. The nervous system is our direct line of communication with others and with creation. Ah, but this will have to wait for another day, I've got to head to San Francisco for an Energy Psychology convention. I'll keep you all posted on the trip.

Oooo, La-La...Provocative

Declaration—
©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

Is it enough to simply write?

Write and love,
write and love?

These two keep me flowing,
creating, growing,
stretching, releasing,
glorifying, praising,
transforming, thriving,
giving and knowing
my place,
my connection
and my Voice.

Amen

"A-hunting I will go to catch a wong-eared wabbit!"

Many months ago a friend recommend I watch the movie, "Rabbit Proof Fence." Oh my gosh, if you want to be inspired by the resiliency of human bonds, it's a must see. The movie opens with a beautiful metaphor--a rabbit-proof fence that runs the length of Australia, built to keep rabbits out of the agricultural land. Now, you all know I'm down with this measure (if you're scratching your head, thinking, "huh", read my past post, Everything is Energy)! As the movie progresses, however, the Australian aborigines become the hunted and relocated. Rabbit Proof Fence is a true story about three remarkable girls who push beyond man-made barriers. I was left pondering a truth I've grown increasingly sure of--the human tendency to believe we are somehow separate from one another leads to trouble. We are not separate, of this I'm certain. From where did this false notion derive? I have a theory and it's expressed in the poem below:


Belief of Separation
©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

First man, first woman,
Adam and Eve,
cast from the garden,
somehow severed from their Creator.
Has anyone considered this question:
How can creation ever be separated from its Source?
Perhaps, that old devil snake pondered the same.

If banishment from Source is possible,
then might I, too, cast you from me:
judging,
dominating,
converting?
With walls erected
and flaming sword drawn,
I become God’s cherubim,
guarding the Eastern gate,
convinced I hold the keys
to your salvation.

Untitled Rumi

It's the start of a good week whenever I rise early, write a poem and have the joy of perfecting it as the days progress. Part of my morning writing ritual is flooding my senses with inspiring poetry as soon as I awaken. One of my favorite poets is Rumi. Often I see a line he wrote so many years ago and wish he were alive today to expand on a line or two. Then, I remember--energy never dies, it just changes form....

Untitled Rumi
©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

“When one of us gets lost, is not here, he must be inside us.”

                                                            ~Rumi

Beyond words, tone, volume
and all crutches used to communicate,
or perhaps disguise,
there are underlying feelings:
expressions,
mannerisms,
some call it, ‘body language.’

Crutches draw all eyes to the obvious hobble,
the physical injury in plain sight.
But what condition is the heart, the very center?
Is it wide-open,
walled-off,
content,
lost?

To feel your way inside,
through constant,
pulsing,
subtle energy,
holds up the magic mirror.
Don’t be surprised if you see yourself
reflected there.

Magnus MacFarlane-Barrow

I was exercising the other day and turned on the TV to pass time. A man with a Scottish accent was being interviewed (I'm a sucker for the Highland voice:). With soft-spoken, humble demeanor, Magnus MacFarlane-Barrow shared an amazing story, and I knew I had to highlight him on the Freedom Series section of my blog. He and his brother were sitting in a pub one day when the local news picked up a story on famine-stricken Somalia. After watching the devastation, they asked, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just do one small thing to help?" Ah, the life-changing question! The brothers decided to spearhead a local community gathering of food, clothing, blankets and medical supplies. They loaded up all the accumulated goods and drove to Somalia. When the men returned to Scotland, an avalanche of continued donations greeted them. Imagine Magnus's reply (in Scottish accent, please:), "I was touched by the overwhelming generosity of others. I saw all of these donations in our family home and thought, 'Wow, people are good,' and it inspired me to be good too." Magnus quit his job, sold his home and started Mary's Meals, an organization that now feeds 900,000 daily meals to children around the world at the cost of about 8 cents a child.

If, like me, your radar picked up on the organization's name, it is named for the Virgin Mary. According to Magnus, there is no ministry attached to his work, "We are very careful to never link feeding and faith. We serve those in need...period." Amen! Any one with a momma's heart would proudly support his mission.

If you find yourself curious, check out MarysMeals.org. Magnus MacFarlane-Barrow won the 2010 Hero of the Year Award from CNN. If you wish to check out this year's candidates of everyday people following their North Stars, go to CNNHeroes.com and vote on your favorite. A special tribute show will air on December 11 at 8ET/5PT announcing the winner, so get out there and honor these heroes with your vote. In closing, Magnus summed up his organization with what I thought was the perfect blessing: "I've learned...that every small act of kindness makes a difference."

I was Jodie Foster!!!

 There are three parts of the energetic anatomy that make up my Inner Constellation work:

1)  Mind
2)  Heart
3)  Nervous System

I had an experience this week that provided insight into the 'Mind' aspect of the Energetic Anatomy and thought to share. I watched the movie, "Silence of the Lambs" last evening. I still cringe even as I type the title! If you haven't seen it---Spoiler Alert!!!!!!!! You might be familiar with the scene when the main character (played by Jodie Foster) is down in the murder's basement when the whack-job kills the lights and begins tracking her with night goggles. As I watched this scene, my heart physically went into overdrive and began beating against the walls of my chest--no kidding. I was there, I was Jodie Foster! After watching the movie, my mind kept returning to a variety of disturbing scenes, and I had increased appreciation for a concept I've labeled, "Point of Focus." When working with the mind, I will often ask, "Where are my thoughts?" and "What am I believing?" In other words, what's my Point of Focus, for whatever I give attention to increases. One sign for me that my thoughts are not healthy is when I begin ruminating or my thoughts become cyclic, a sure sign that my energy is stuck in a loop. Whenever I wish to shift my Point of Focus into something that feels better I practice two things:

1) Gratitude - what are the gifts in spite of what appears to be tragedy, stress or a grievance? Using my silly example of the movie last night, the gifts were plentiful: cuddle time with my beloved husband and sweet kitty, I could stay up late since I didn't have work in the morning, the movie clarified that suspenseful murder mysteries are not for me, the light-hearted (!), I gained insight into the workings of my mind, the plot and story-line were exceptional, I could go on and on. Gratitude for the gifts shifts my Point of Focus from a heart-pounding experience to a healthier experience.

2) EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique and other Meridian Therapies are masterful at literally accessing points on the body to interrupt negative thought patterns. Tapping acupressure points has also proven to lower stress hormones such as Cortisol, released by the body when a threat is perceived, either real or as a result of thinking. The mind is incredibly powerful and is a central component to feeling good. EFT accesses the intricate chain of reaction elicited by the mind to develop healthier Points of Focus.

These are my top two techniques to shift my Point of Focus and calm the wild, chasing mind--you know, the one being stalked by a serial killer! Yikes.

9-11 Commemoration

I've had a very reflective weekend after being hit with a wave of sad news. It started Tuesday on my way to work when I drove by the IHOP shooting thirty minutes after it had happened. Then, I heard of the death of a friend's young family member from a heroine overdose. Believe it or not, it didn't stop there--another friend's 18 year old daughter has been given two years to live if a new liver is not found and my co-worker's 16 year old daughter was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Why am I telling you this? It's not to be a kill-joy but to share with you an insight I had during this weekend of remembrance. I was sitting in my garden yesterday and saying prayers for all those touched by the circumstances of the week, when I noticed a bee diving into the funnel of a fox glove blossom. I marveled at this as fox glove's flowers, seeds, sap, roots and leaves are all highly poisonous but apparently not to bee as this one extracted nectar again and again. As I watched, a question surfaced:

Is it possible to transmute poisons in our lives and turn them into nectar? 

The word "transmute" is perfect, for it means, "to change in form or energy." Often it's a term used in alchemy, such as transmuting lead to gold. I asked myself how I could possibly transmute the IHOP massacre? An answer popped up readily: I could go to the memorial outside the restaurant on Monday and leave my business card along with a flyer, offering free EFT sessions to anyone impacted by the event. And what about my friend's family member who died from the overdose? My husband had already covered that one by going fishing with our friend and planning more river time (he always figures things out way before I do:). What of the 18 year old and 16 year old battling for their lives? I called Chevy's restaurant and began planning community fund-raisers for both of them.

Next time "poison" presents itself, how might we respond like bee and transmute the experience? I think this is a wonderful question to consider on the 10th anniversary of 9-11 and maybe even more importantly, for all personal tragedies from the past and in the future. I look so forward to hearing your thoughts and pray comfort to each of you on this weekend of remembrance.

Musings

After writing Part 1 and Part 2 of "My God, My Tourniquet," I came across a poem I wrote a few months back and thought it was a nice summary of the two articles. Enjoy....

Legal Interpreter
©2011 Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

Changing one language, English, into another’s source language, sign language,
back and forth: faithfully, accurately, to the best of the interpreter’s ability.
Interpreting requires tremendous equanimity,
not entertaining one’s innate, internal filter
but rather translating precisely
while leaving judgment to someone else.

Today’s offense was domestic violence—a baby and toddler were involved.
Signs that one should never see, shot off hands
as  interpreter analyzed the many layers of language:
lexical, phrasal, sentential, and discourse.

Interpreter’s mind worked overtime,
while inside the apparent translating machine,
unbeknownst to those who watched,
she experienced a liberating call:
her long-ago-silenced-inner-voice spoke one arresting word—“suffering.”
Heart, typically not invited to court proceedings,
opened to receive the news.
Communication steadily flowed
as mind and heart engaged,

beyond limits of language, another Source bore witness---infinite compassion.
Court room interpreter was,
for the first time in her translation,
entirely free.

"My God, My Tourniquet" Part 2

The post prior, debated if Heart-Centered Breathing is enough when presented with a difficult situation. What if the difficulty is sustained, like in the example of my friend in Part 1? For me, Heart-Centered Breathing is a first step, but if a charge remains over a situation I proceed with meridian tapping, or a technique more commonly called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Meridian tapping is a simple, self-applied technique that accesses the body's acupressure points to release any charge that our bodies hold over situations (showing up as thoughts, emotional upset, body symptoms, etc). If you go to my website you can watch an informative video (blue icon) about how EFT works and cruise around for more information on meridian tapping. 

Here's the basic premise, when physical or emotional trauma of any sort is experienced, the body usually chooses one of three responses: fight, flight or freeze. Most people are familiar with fight and flight but give little attention to the freeze response—our body’s miraculous way of freezing pain until we can process it later when it’s safe to do so. Think of all the times you experienced an emotional or physical jolt; was it appropriate or even possible to fight the source of your discomfort or run from it? Our bodies often hold the distress until it can be dealt with. Fight, flight or freeze are the conventional reactions to trauma; In my Inner Constellation work, I utilize a fourth response—flow. Emotions, including pain, are meant to pass through the body, not remain stuck. Meridian tapping loosens the areas in the body where pain may be frozen, waiting for appropriate release. This mind-body practice also accesses your deep, inner resource, which provides personalized insight and is a storehouse of solutions beyond what any outside source can provide to you. Unfortunately, in western culture we’re rarely taught to honor the inner part of ourselves that meridian tapping acknowledges. In fact, we’re usually encouraged to seek answers outside ourselves in the form of experts, books or substances that provide temporary relief. Through meridian tapping, obstacles are recognized, physically discharged out of the body, and healthier suggestions or “keys” are imbedded in the subconscious mind. These “keys” are always client-generated, for we are most susceptible to our own suggestions. Meridian tapping is used on the body between sessions as a self-awareness tool to access the deep inner mind and provide further healing to the whole system.

So, Heart-Centered Breathing, as discussed in Part 1 is a compassionate response to difficult situations and can provide a temporary "tourniquet" so to speak, but if any charge remains, consider pulling out the big gun--meridian tapping or EFT. Remember, ya'll, I provide no-charge consultation if you wish to contact me, and would love to hear from you if you're interested in literally tapping into the incredible resource of your Inner Constellation!

"My God, My Tourniquet"

One of the hats I wear is that of a legal interpreter. As I stood in the court room today next to the judge's bench prepared to interpret, I practiced a technique that enables me to navigate the many tragic scenarios relayed in court. I call my practice, "Heart-Centered Breathing." I don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes when I experience something difficult, my breathing catches, almost like I'm holding my breath. The "walling-off," as I've learned to recognize it, seems like a subconscious contraction, as if I'm resisting the experience. Consciously breathing from my center where I notice the restriction helps me recognize my reaction while providing a gentle and effective remedy. Here's the practice: simply breathe in from the heart and breathe out through the heart.

Recently, equipment has measured the heart's electrical frequency 18 feet from the body. My theory is that our energetic influence is even more expansive, but as of yet we don't have equipment sensitive enough to pick up beyond 18 feet. The brain's electrical frequency is measurable about 2 inches from the skull. Our bodies electrical impulses have been proven to affect the electrical impulses of others, and most people's heart and brain rhthyms will come into synchronization within a few moments of being in each other's sphere of influence.

The day I was preparing this article for post, I saw a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in a few years. When I asked her what was new, she told of a horrible car accident that had left her in constant pain and unable to do her trade. I looked at her young, sweet face and was reminded to breathe. My brain with its judgment and problem-solving (and puney 2 inch influence!) disengaged and my heart opened to the moment. We had a nice talk and she instantly reached out for a gentle hug (heart-to-heart, I might add...hmmm.) Is it enough to just breathe? I find it's a first step, almost like a tourniquet that stops the wound from getting worse. But sometimes one can't "just breathe" for the pain is sustained, like in the instance of my above mentioned friend; "just breathe, just leave the tourniquet on," isn't realistic. What then? This question has inspired part II of "My God, My Tourniquet." Please stay tuned.

Haloed Tree

I woke at 5:20am this morning to work a very early assignment. Afterwards, I went to a local mountain view and the muse hit me....bam! I love when that happens. I hope your day starts and ends as beautifully as mine did:

Haloed Tree

©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

You are why I rise so early,

crawl from beneath warm covers

to stand in still-dark morning

and wait with arbor patience

for first rays 

to set ablaze

my outstretched limbs.

Fly on the Wall

I’m home from San Francisco. One specific story stands out as a must-tell and strangely bizarre reflection of my visit. If you live near San Francisco, you might have heard of an infamous character named, "The Bush Man." Before I departed, a friend warned of a homeless man who was hiding behind fake bushes and attempting to scare the bejesus out of San Francisco tourists. I expressed hoping to see him so I could observe people’s reactions. My wish was granted. I got to see The Bush Man up close and personal at Fisherman’s Wharf, his location given away by a blood-curdling female scream. As soon as I heard the commotion, I thought, “Bushman!” and turned to see a scrawny, black scarecrow-of-a-man shaking leafy tree limbs while doing a little dance of joy for a group of bewildered tourists.  It’s important you know about this coyote-character, for it sets the stage for my story. After watching The Bush Man exchange, my family and I crossed the street and went into the Boudin Bakery, each exiting with a fresh mini loaf of butter-crusted bread. We walked down the sidewalk, ripping off chunks of warm bread and savoring our bagged loafs. Up ahead an old man hung over the rail while gazing out to sea. Perhaps enticed by the smell of fresh bread, he revived and turned to us while holding out his hand and mumbling something incoherently. We gave the man a wide girth as we passed, and he despondently swung back around to his perch. I immediately felt like a greedy cuss and walked back to the man, offering my loaf as a sort of peace offering. He startled and then smiled a straight-toothed smile and said clear as a bell, “I’m fine, keep your bread!” He looked at me with eyes no longer glazed in ‘drunken stupor’ and asked, “Where are you from?” in a tone implying I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. I gave the name of my small mountain town (I’m pretty sure I blushed.)  He smiled still broader, “Don’t fall for that ‘I’m hungry’ crap!” In all honesty, I’m ashamed to admit my first reaction was annoyance at having been tricked. In the next breath however, my bruised ego registered that this old man was not homeless, drunk, desperate or hungry (so I suspected from his obvious transformation). I smiled and said, “I’m glad you’re satisfied. You know how to pick ‘em don’t you?” He laughed and repeated his advice before turning back to the sea, “Don’t fall for it!” 

Compassion is one of my North Stars, and I got hoodwinked by a pretend homeless man, how ironic is that! What the heck was the point? Here’s the lesson I took away from the fako-drunk-homeless dude:  compassion has no limits and if genuine, desires no suffering even for an ego boost or sicko-fly-on-the-wall thrill. My San Francisco insight is a bit polly-anna-ish but helps me see my personal limitations to practicing radical, uncompromising compassion without exception. Thank you, Old-Man-Fly-on-the-Wall, for bringing the Mountain Bumpkin under the microscope and into a position of observation.

Goes Around, Comes Around

As I get ready for a trip to San Francisco with my family, I find myself thinking of a poem I wrote and thought to share it. The poem reminds me of Charting our Course to our North Stars, the idea of Karma and the importance of informed action and intention. Adventure awaits and I look forward to connecting when I get home. May this offering prime the pump....

Goes Around, Comes Around

©Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

Going on a journey.

Suitcases are packed.

Protecting everything familiar,

I lock my door

and walk to the station.

Window beckons, “open for business.”

Idling bus sputters in irritation,

awaiting my decision.

Money changes hands.

Ticket is mine.

“Step on up,

hold tight!”

Baggage taken,

tossed below,

sinks into dark recesses.

Outside the rain streaked window,

I see a man

dirty and poor.

He’s out of sorts,

not playing by the rules.

Do I step from the bus,

where might that road lead?

No one’s holding me here.

Yet I stay,

rooted to my seat.

Miles stretch between

as highway hums a song.

Stretching out best I can,

I’m lulled by wheels of complacency,

and fall into deep sleep….

Until, passing through some god-forsaken town,

the rambling bus blows a tire.

No longer dry,

I stand roadside,

looking worn and tired.

“Don’t worry,”

a gentleman looks on,

“Help will arrive.”

Comfort spouted in vain,

sounds familiar.

Groaning to a halt,

the bus indeed ambles in.

I stir, lifted from the roadside dream.

Wiping my eyes,

I sit up and ask, “Have I been saved?”

“Honey, what do I look like,

your angel in disguise?”

the woman at the wheel inquires.

Her black hands rest lax beneath her

as she smiles, “Is this your stop?”

Stretching,

I rise,

grab my backpack

and head down the aisle.

I understand:

where I go,

my destinations,

all reap grace

or payback,

my own creations.