Having never spoken to such a large crowd, I had no idea how it would go—hoping to at least not do a “mic drop” as my dear sister joked! My Tedx topic was, “Can Mindfulness Solve the Opioid Epidemic?” Heavy topic, and during my month and a half of practice, I rode the fine balance of heart and mind. It’s an emotional topic for me, and I thought I had achieved a bit of insight—when I go back into my own small story, I suffer but in this present moment, my loved one is doing great: he’s giving back and taking big steps in recovery. When I keep the bigger story in mind—all the millions of people that opioid addiction affects,—I find stability and purpose ~ Not me, not mine. Then, “I” was up and out onto the stage I walked....
Words flowed, memorization held, heart opened, emotions stabilized as I mindfully worked with breath and brought Thich Nhat Hanh into those moments (Thank you, sweet Kathi:). It felt good, it felt solid. I lost count of the people who found me afterwards, wanting to share their stories—many who were 10, 20 plus years sober. Beautiful, inspiring souls, among those still experiencing addiction: homelessness, estrangement, enmeshment, and losses. There were acts unimaginable: selling a loved one to drug cartels, desperation resulting in hiding evidence, insurance fraud to get treatment, etc. I eventually went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and cried. I can say—stage makeup indeed is waterproof! But, then, I very quickly pulled myself together knowing that even though the opioid epidemic ocean of suffering is wide and deep, the Tedx talk and the community it engenders are tiny ripples, going out....
When I arrived home, I was able to watch the live broadcast and renewed my great desire to grow my personal capacity to be with suffering and...to lighten hearts around me, including my own. Even before the Tedx event when I spoke of the topic of my talk, people shared so many stories and a few days before a colleague lost a child to overdose. I continually go back to the importance of community to hold and cradle suffering of this magnitude. Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) very wisely understood and conveyed—the next Buddha is not a person but a community. I return to a metaphor often used and attributed to different ancient sages—a spoonful of salt in a cup is undrinkable, but poured into a lake, almost imperceptible. Alone, we are doomed, together, we are strong, resilient and resourceful. I’ve experienced again and again the vast capacity of community to be present with whatever arises.
When the talk link is given, I will post in hopes it can be used in whatever ways benefit folks. We were warned it may take up to 6 months with pandemic delays. Thank you, everyone for your support, words of wisdom, insights and care. My heart is full of gratitude for all the Lake Tahoe Community College hosts that were tireless in their devotion to the exchange of ideas, inspiration and service.
