Getting Tattooed with Grandma!

Friday, November 21, 2014
Me and Grandma celebrating her 90 beautiful years
I spent last weekend celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. For two nights we spent time as a family in the celebratory place of her choice--karaoke bars, and the girl shut the place down! I didn't get to bed until 1:30am both nights; me, who usually goes to bed with the sun, was up singing and dancing and having a fine time. I figured, if that is the stuff that gets one to the sweet age of 90, I'm in! As a result, I've been riding a high all week inspired by an amazing woman. 

At Grandma's party so many admirers dedicated heart-felt songs and just loved her up, giving thanks for her continued presence in their lives. She, of course, was gracious and lovely in receiving it all. At one point I asked her what her secret is for longevity in relationships. Without missing a beat she answered:

1) A love that is always there, no matter what! (said with sweet spice that is a trademark of Grandma:)
2) communication
3) and lastly--respect (I'll never forget the fierce way she said the last ingredient)

Wise words coming from a woman whose life has reflected the above 3 qualities, not just with her husband of 65 years (sweetest couple I ever had the pleasure of knowing), but with every person she interacts with--North Stars shining bright: love, communication and respect. 

OK, so as not to get too sappy, on an end note (pun intended) a final story in honor of this awesome woman. I've noticed when folks live happily into their later years, there's often a certain amount of spunk that's adopted, and Grandma is no exception. There was a tattoo parlor close to a restaurant we dined at, and I jokingly teased that we should get a tattoo together. She innocently asked, "What would we have tattooed?" and I suggested, "I'm thinking, a nautical star." With a mischievous grin she pointed to her chin, "When I'm 100, I'll get it right here!" It's a date.

Thank you, Grandma J, for your fine example, beautiful voice and abiding care. You are loved!


Find Your Strength, UURRRGGGGH!

Monday, November 10, 2014
November's Inner Constellation theme is gratitude and I just got taken to schoooool to learn a profound lesson in appreciation. Recently, I had the unexpected opportunity to sit with a terminally ill young person for the day. I'll be using the non-gender specific pronoun, "they" to refer to this one to retain confidentiality, even though it's improper English, forgive me:). Here's what they taught me--health is a privileged reality, if you experience it, nurture and appreciate every moment. Spending a day in their reality was a wake up moment. But, the lesson goes even deeper--in spite of being very sick, I kid you not, they smiled and thanked every person caring for them, even though that necessary care impacted their pain, often making it worse.

I was in pure awe and have continued pondering this Bodhisattva, gaining a smidgen of insight on wellness versus disease. As you might have picked up from this blog, I categorize the care for one's Inner Constellation into three primary points of focus:

1) Body
2) Mind
3) Emotions

With all three, I stress the importance of balance. What happens when one or more of these aspects of ourselves is degenerating, ie completely out of balance? In the above example, the young one's body was almost entirely disabled by disease, however the other two components of mind and emotions were consciously strengthened. It was obvious spending the day with this person that tremendous energy was invested in staying positive and grateful. The result was an amazing solidity, in spite of the failing form.

How might I take the idea of balance and apply it to my body, mind and emotions? When one is not in a state of well-being, might I turn toward my strengths and spend energy increasing what I can increase? If my mind is all over the map, agitated and jumping around like a monkey, can I take my strong, healthy body and go for a run, stretch and do some yoga or go for a mindful walk? Heck, I might even dedicate the merit of my exercise to someone who is not able to exercise, or, I might dedicate the merit of my activity to my monkey-mind! If my body is hurting and in pain, might I use my big heart to send myself some loving-kindness, reach out to a person in need and give him or her some care and affection?

Meeting my young Bodhisattva friend inspired and expanded my capabilities and sent a gentle and loving message--when a part of myself is not at its strongest, love it up, then put energy into what is strong. Find your strength--body, mind, emotions. Exercise it to your fullest potential. If you need a coach, someone to fire you up and be a cheerleader, contact me.