Summer Mindfulness Retreat: June 24, 2021

 

July 22, 2021 

Lake Tahoe Mindfulness Community will be gathering this coming Saturday with happy hearts
to be together again! Our last retreat to deepen our practice was in January 2019, weeks
before the pandemic erupted. 

Our intention is to practice outdoors primarily. We will begin a morning sit at 8:00am beneath
the big Juniper outside our temple at The Studio Lake Tahoe, then, flow into walking meditation
at Paradise Park to enjoy Lake Baron, the shade of the gazebo and our elder, giant Juniper.

During this last year and a half, it’s been a blessing to have a concrete practice, orienting us
towards what matters most during the upheavals. We will dive deep into the 5 Mindfulness
Trainings and look at our personal study of the trainings and how they have studied us!

We will be enjoying a guided meditation to soak up the goodness of 1) Reverence for Life 2)
True Happiness 3) True Love 4) Loving Speech and Deep Listening and 5) True Nourishment
and Healing (More on the 5 MT here)

Please join us in a day of pure summer nourishment! 

A sweet little angel dropped this poem by Antonio Machado into my lap with perfect timing, not knowing (or knowing) that it was exactly what I needed to hear. I have spun the second stanza particularly through the honeycomb of my mind again and again and again....

Last Night As I Was Sleeping

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart.
I said: Along which secret aqueduct,
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that a fiery sun was giving
light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt
warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I slept,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that it was God I had
here inside my heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drEeU7PMzsk

Tedx Experience!

The two days of rehearsal and final production were amazing! Definitely a few of the most rememberable days of my life. The nine in the speaking team interwove a magical day, none of us having met before. Talks all had at their foundations: resilience, common humanity and compassionate collective care of ourselves, each other and our beautiful Mama Earth. 

Having never spoken to such a large crowd, I had no idea how it would go—hoping to at least not do a “mic drop” as my dear sister joked! My Tedx topic was, “Can Mindfulness Solve the Opioid Epidemic?” Heavy topic, and during my month and a half of practice, I rode the fine balance of heart and mind. It’s an emotional topic for me, and I thought I had achieved a bit of insight—when I go back into my own small story, I suffer but in this present moment, my loved one is doing great: he’s giving back and taking big steps in recovery. When I keep the bigger story in mind—all the millions of people that opioid addiction affects,—I find stability and purpose ~ Not me, not mine. Then, “I” was up and out onto the stage I walked....

Words flowed, memorization held, heart opened, emotions stabilized as I mindfully worked with breath and brought Thich Nhat Hanh into those moments (Thank you, sweet Kathi:). It felt good, it felt solid. I lost count of the people who found me afterwards, wanting to share their stories—many who were 10, 20 plus years sober. Beautiful, inspiring souls, among those still experiencing addiction: homelessness, estrangement, enmeshment, and losses. There were acts unimaginable: selling a loved one to drug cartels, desperation resulting in hiding evidence, insurance fraud to get treatment, etc. I eventually went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and cried. I can say—stage makeup indeed is waterproof! But, then, I very quickly pulled myself together knowing that even though the opioid epidemic ocean of suffering is wide and deep, the Tedx talk and the community it engenders are tiny ripples, going out....

When I arrived home, I was able to watch the live broadcast and renewed my great desire to grow my personal capacity to be with suffering and...to lighten hearts around me, including my own. Even before the Tedx event when I spoke of the topic of my talk, people shared so many stories and a few days before a colleague lost a child to overdose. I continually go back to the importance of community to hold and cradle suffering of this magnitude. Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) very wisely understood and conveyed—the next Buddha is not a person but a community. I return to a metaphor often used and attributed to different ancient sages—a spoonful of salt in a cup is undrinkable, but poured into a lake, almost imperceptible. Alone, we are doomed, together, we are strong, resilient and resourceful. I’ve experienced again and again the vast capacity of community to be present with whatever arises. 

When the talk link is given, I will post in hopes it can be used in whatever ways benefit folks. We were warned it may take up to 6 months with pandemic delays. Thank you, everyone for your support, words of wisdom, insights and care. My heart is full of gratitude for all the Lake Tahoe Community College hosts that were tireless in their devotion to the exchange of ideas, inspiration and service. 

Indestructible Nature

 

I had a morning of technology mishaps, unable to print due to wifi coming and going. And of course it happened as I was preparing to walk out the door  for the treatment center, so I had no handouts to accompany my usual week’s practice. Rather than get pulled into the chaos, I used it as an opportunity to keep my eyes and ears open to new practice opportunities when I arrived for morning group. The day turned out to be magical. 

I arrived, observing the full house of clients (alcohol and drug use is up significantly since the pandemic—OD up 63%). Hope seemed at a low and this observation was confirmed by staff. It’s times like this I envision the practice as a mirror to reflect the indestructible nature inside each person. Indestructible nature untouched by addiction, poverty, tragedy and the pandemic. As we prepared for walking meditation, I consciously opened my heart for a way to explore this innate nature upon our return. 

We stepped beyond the property, into the forest, slowly walking out of the tree line and into a meadow surrounded by a huge mountain range, covered in snow and jutting up into the blue sky. We stopped and soaked in the view. A palatable peace pervaded the entire group. A young one, sat upon a fallen tree and began to hum as his eyes roamed the landscape. Then, he stopped and said to no one in particular, “The mountain is so pretty, so peaceful.”

His words opened up an insight into the reality of indestructible nature. The very same mountain that was pristine and indeed pretty and peaceful had been absolutely and completely devastated by a wildfire fifteen years earlier. The destruction had burned so hot it had exploded the tops off the trees and completely blackened the land. I had lived right down from the meadow and witnessed the destruction. After coming home from our evacuation, I was so heartsick over the charred earth, I couldn’t bring myself to run or bike in the woods near my house. It was just too painful, and I cried copious tears for the land. Now, so many years later the mountain had greened again.  

The group walked back slowly, thoughtfully and then laid down for total relaxation and a story about a beautiful mountain, scarred and devastated by a raging wildfire that appeared to destroy everything in its path. Sharing the words of our young friend, “It’s so pretty, so peaceful,” there were tears and the very felt sense that every living thing moves in the direction of life. Mindfully acknowledging our indestructible nature is paramount, so we can speak to it every day and grow our goodness. The greatest gift is that when we strengthen our good nature, we become capable of recognizing and speaking to that same life force in our families and friends and even those who we find difficult. Calming and cooling the fires we trust—new growth is there.    

“What if everything you need is inherent in you right now—profuse, abundant and perfectly sufficient” Inner Constellation Blog Motto

Death Trap Inside The Snow Globe!

 

I’m so thankful I practice mindfulness! Tahoe received about 3 foot of snow yesterday. and I went out late morning, prepared to move large quantities off my deck. I lifted the grate by my front door and began pushing the white stuff into the hole. After a few swipes, I rested by looking around at all the beauty, mesmerized by the snowflakes, and fully feeling the magic of being inside a snow globe. I pulled out my phone and began a little photo shoot. On one of the shots, I stepped back and literally felt space between my boot and where the deck should have been. Next thing I knew my torso exploded in pain as my arms flung straight out to keep me from falling all the way through the hole to the ground below! 

I didn’t scream, why I’m not sure, so my husband, although he heard the thud, didn’t realize I was in distress. I pulled myself up and out, crawled to the front door and was inside gasping like a crying fish, unable to take in air.  

We got me sat down, covered in a blanket, and I worked for the next several minutes to get my breathing cycle to a count of over 2 without pain. Once my body settled down, I began chastising myself—what a lame-brain move! Am I getting old or what!?! These thoughts were punctuated by the wisdom of my beloved who countered with, “You could have broken your back, your neck. Thank goodness you’re alive.” 

Safety...precious breath...warmth... absence of pain. These are things to be very grateful and aware. Although my first thought when I made impact was, “I ruptured an organ!” It appears as though I just bruised some ribs and fatigued the heck out of my upper body but beyond that, I’m very fortunate. Why, might you ask, are you glad you practice mindfulness? Um...you stepped into a hole that you created!

Firstly, staying with the breath to calm and soothe my pain was paramount. A dear mediation teacher once instructed that as long as we maintain the breath, we can find our way back to the body. Secondly, recognizing the insight of my beloved and the truth that he expressed has enabled me to be grateful beyond grateful for my strong body, arms to catch me when I fall, the support of my husband to turn around and go move massive snow without me and then, take care of my invalid self! 

There is another funny thing about the Death Trap Inside The Snow Globe that I’ve been playing around with. In Zen stories there are crazy events that lead to awakening—one falls off a cliff, gets struck by lightening....I indeed had such a moment! As I labored for air, trying to take a full breath, I just wanted the pain to go away, desperately. So desperately that I asked immediately for a Tylenol. Last time I took any kind of medicine for pain was when I broke my hand years ago. I don’t do pharmaceuticals, but in that moment, I did. The Death Trap event gave me empathy for those in Addiction Recovery where I work making the life choice to now face pain with the energy of mindfulness and gratitude rather than reaching for substances. Indeed, insight worth keeping. In the midst of a Death Trap there is a snow globe and in the midst of a snow globe, there is a death trap...OK, now I'm getting drunk on gratitude 🙏 Thank you, precious, precious breath!       

“Love Your Enemies,” MLK Jr Speech For Our Time

As I watched the events at the Capitol breech unfold, I honestly was not surprised. The division in our country is completely out of control and the events reflected these conditions. Perhaps it was the timing of Martin Luther King Jr’s remembrance in the weeks that followed, but a sermon came strongly to mind entitled, “Love Your Enemies.” As I listened to the speech, I felt MLK was speaking directly to our nation, directly to our government and to each citizen’s good heart. A few quotes stood out:  

Now first let us deal with this question, which is the practical question: How do you go about loving your enemies? I think the first thing is this: In order to love your enemies, you must begin by analyzing self. 

When there is hate within us that has not cared for, it will spill out onto everyone in its path, same goes for fear, and any other strong, unchecked emotion. MLK goes on to offer two more how-to’s and the next is perhaps my favorite:

A second thing that an individual must do in seeking to love his enemy is to discover the element of good in his enemy, and every time you begin to hate that person and think of hating that person, realize that there is some good there and look at those good points which will over-balance the bad points. 

I have been saddened by the criticizing, sneering and dehumanizing of the hurt people pouring their pain out onto the streets, into businesses and now into our nation’s capitol. Are we listening? Are we trying to understand their concerns? Or shutting them down due to intolerance? 

Another way that you love your enemy is this: When the opportunity presents itself for you to defeat your enemy, that is the time which you must not do it. 

Love does not mudd-sling, love does not kick when a person is down. MLK orates to perfection, building and infusing his words with moral integrity. In closing, he implores:

Somewhere somebody must have some sense. Men must see that force begets force, hate begets hate, toughness begets toughness. And it is all a descending spiral, ultimately ending in destruction for all and everybody. Somebody must have sense enough and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate and the chain of evil in the universe. And you do that by love.

On this day, dedicated to a heroic and beautiful man, please enjoy Martin Luther King, Jr.’s words and allow them to penetrate into your being, into your response and fortitude. His is the greatest call ~ to love one’s enemy in this time of division as we prepare for inauguration and changing of the guard.    

 

Advent Week 3 Joy: In Times of Loss

Tomorrow turns the last week in Advent, so I’m just squeaking this post through in the nick of time. Week 3 ~ Joy arrived in the midst of the loss in of a beloved young one. Her sweet life provided an opportunity to practice with the possibility of experiencing joy in the midst of grief. The first flicker of joy I recognized stirring in my heart was just after setting up an altar in her honor. I walked into my living room to the brilliant glow of orange, pink and lavender light. My jaw dropped in awe as I looked for the source, a winter sunset aflame out my sliding glass doors. Colors reminded me of her favorite tie-dye shirt that she wore in the picture gracing my altar....

My beloved one continued so beautifully in the last moments of setting sun. I stepped into the cold, Tahoe eve and gave thanks for her life, her love, all those she touched and...I felt joy, I felt peace. My mind relaxed it’s hold, I stopped fighting the new reality and I let go. In those moments, I was reminded of something I said to my nephew upon the loss of my father. Knowing my nephew was the sensitive type, I had given him a head’s up, not to worry if I cried in a continual stream at the funeral. I was giving myself the entire day to grieve my loss, but then, when the day was done, I would bring to mind only the joys of my father’s life, not the sorrows. My nephew sat alongside me on the pew, held my hand and understood.

There is a line I read at night in remembrance of my Sunset Beloved that fills my mind with beautiful light— The peace and joy of the entire world, including the worlds of the living and the dead, depend on our own peace and joy in this moment. With all our hearts and one-pointed mind, let us begin anew for the benefit of ourselves and our beloved ones.*

The peace and joy of the entire world...depend on our own peace and joy in this moment. As week 3 of Advent closes, may joy prevail, catching our eyes when we least expect it, taking our breaths away and reminding that life is treasured and precious.   

*Chanting from the Heart: Buddhist Ceremonies and Daily Practices by Thich Nhat Hanh