Two weeks ago, I was completely and utterly exhausted. Getting over COVID, after a busy day, the effects still lingered. The previous night, I had been supporting my loved ones for four hours at a critical juncture point in recovery. It had been brutal, and as a result, I had no energy left. I decided to lay down for a 30 minute nap.
When my alarm went off, I woke with a profound sense of love, of being entirely loved. I felt embraced and held and to my surprise, entirely rejuvenated. I sat there, soaking it in for many moments, and then my thinking mind came back on board…what caused that? I was practically unconscious and the love was unmerited. I didn’t ask for it, I was’t even thinking of anything loving, in fact, I was feeling the opposite, fully drained. Where did that love come from? Did I slip into someone’s whispered prayer for me? My grasping mind wanted to know—how do I produce such care for myself and others?
The nicest part about the whole experience is that since waking up from the nap, I have felt the same presence of love every day since, sometimes many times a day, at moments usually unsuspecting: during an inconvenient holiday work assignment in the ER, while driving, while cooking, while getting ready in the morning, waking up in the middle of the night to pee….
Perhaps we become
love, peace and joy,
unmerited,
inside and around us
at all times
across all realms of wakefulness
and rest.
