Squeaky Clean and Smelling Like Flowers!

Friday, May 24, 2019
Today is a monumental day of deep gratitude and as is my nature—writing helps to soak up the goodness. My nephew is 30 days sober today after much heroic personal work, the care of treatment and the love and support of family and many good and constant A.A. and N.A. friends on the path. How to express this great happiness and keep the momentum going? The practice of mindfulness encourages deep looking and when doing so I remembered a poem I had written 2 years ago entitled, “How Does One Experience Nirvana.” The following is an adaptation of that poem, where lines reflecting on my nephew 2 years ago seem already written for this day of honoring 30 days clean. Please enjoy this new installment:

Remember Our Eternity
©2019 Karla Johnston, InnerConstellation.com

When well-being is held as number one priority:
for ourselves,
loved ones,
community—
compassion is born
and strengthened.
We become sweet lotuses rising from the mud.

Today is 30 days clean and sober,
lotus heading for the light,
how to keep momentum going?
Space. Stillness. Insight—
writing it out, talking it out, fuels the telling of a story:
Nephew is bright eyed,
ripping off baby clothes to run wild through the petting zoo,
squealer-of-delight.
But he is more…so much more.

We are so much more than narrative,
a running commentary!

When a story is no longer told,
the characters break free.
In one breath of awareness,
all suffering ceases.

Perhaps…a new story unfolds:
“I really didn’t have any future,
I figured I’d overdose fairly soon
or go to jail for failing drug tests for probation.
I actually picture being older now.
Idk.”

My heart grows physically warm, full.
I type back via text:
“Smiling at you, older
and me, a granny holding your hand.”
I stop and breathe,
envision us sitting on the bench
outside my parents’ living room window.
Where I sat, hand-in-hand with my dad, so many times.
The next line I type for me more than anyone,
“Keep that picture fresh for you and for all of us.”

When a new story is told,
the characters break free.
In one breath of awareness,
suffering ceases.