End of Year Blessings

I sit at my kitchen table in the hour before sunset, watching the day’s rain-sleet mix turn to snow. Flakes fall in every direction, pushed at a slant by the wind as the evergreens sway. I’ve lit a candle in remembrance of a loved one who made their transition on Christmas evening. A candle shines beside me, as does the loved one, whom I’ve felt close since taking down the Christmas altar and dedicating space to her and the treasure of her life. Going through pictures, I’m touched by the sassiness of her nature captured in so many shots. It shines as bright as the candle, as the sliver moon, transitioning to dark. 

As I light the altar candle and do a remembrance ceremony, a chant makes its way into my heart, sung at “The Gate of Sweet Nectar” ceremony:

Calling out to hungry hearts,

Everywhere through endless time.

You who wander, you who thirst, 

I offer you this Bodhi mind.

Calling all you hungry spirits, 

Everywhere through endless time.

Calling out to hungry hearts,

All the lost and the left behind.

Gather round and share this meal.

Your joy and your sorrow,

I make it mine.*

This chant is based on an ancient practice of offering care and compassion to every imaginable being, not only in physical forms we see, but beings in every stage and plane of existence. It announces—here I am, offering my alive and quiet mind, witnessing the pain of unending and relentless hungers, even those that can never be satisfied. I am you, gather round and receive care, compassion, relief….

For many, the holidays are a time of difficulty, when the insatiable hungers of addiction, loss, and loneliness become stronger. After holiday, the hunger may recede as we look to a New Year, new possibilities offered in every moment ~ every lighting of the candle, every chant, every breath. 

There is a line in the Chanting from the Heart Ceremony for the Deceased that says, "The peace and joy of the entire world, including the worlds of the living and the dead, depend upon our own peace and joy in this moment. With all our heart and one-pointed mind, let us begin anew for the benefit of ourselves and our beloved ones." 

As I write on December 29th, two days before New Year’s Eve 2025, I dedicate my actions, my thoughts, and my quiet mind to care and compassion in the midst of hunger. I gather with my community at the table. May we reflect the great heart of compassion, always flowing to us and our loved ones in every moment. 

If you or a loved one feel the impact of the holidays and are affected by addiction and recovery and could benefit from open hearts, turned toward living a happy and peaceful life in the midst, please come to Lotuses in the Mud online recovery sangha, Thursdays at 7:45a Pacific. Zoom ID 988-3428-9711 Password: LTMC

* Calling Out To Hungry Hearts by Krishna Das, created for Zen Peacemakers

  

  

Balance Between Giving and Receiving

In this season of giving, I’m aware more strongly than ever, of giving’s counterpoint ~~ receiving. When we’re expressing love and care to another, unless it’s truly desired, our giving may not be helpful, in fact, it could be a downright source of distress. I was in the home of an elderly couple recently and asked how they were doing. One answered, “Not so good, I had a meltdown.” When I asked what happened, she reached over and placed a Starbucks bag on the table in front of us. She proceeded to pull out two ginormous coffee mugs with little knitted sweaters (koozies) on each. I couldn't contain myself and busted out laughing--they looked like two square headless people wearing knitted tube tops. 

The couple laughed along with me, saying, “These are so stinking heavy! With coffee in there, we can hardly lift them, even with two hands! By the time we put the little sweaters on—our beverage heat would go out the huge openings and be stone cold!” I added to the absurdity, "And, if you're like me and you dribble, the sweater is ruined!" Next, they told the story of receiving a coffee machine with all kinds of bells and whistles which was so confusing, they couldn’t get it to work and put it away for another day. Then, came two electric blankets, which they attempted to pass to me. “Christmas is so overwhelming!" was their conclusion. "We’re trying to downsize and in come all these gifts we just don’t need.” 

Of course, these gifts were given because the couple are dearly loved, we didn't miss that greatest gift. Who is being served when we give what is not needed, or wanted? 

After decompressing a bit, the three of us ticked down a project list: picking up deliveries from the front porch, putting the above gifts into a Goodwill pile!, breaking down cardboard boxes and taking them out to recyclables, considering a cycle for changing sheets on the bed, preparing the table for lunch, meeting the delivery driver and setting up the vittles. When I went to leave, the couple said, “This is what we needed today, you made life easier, thank you.” The smile on their faces, ease in their expressions and hugs were my greatest gifts that day. 

As I got in the car and drove home, I had received a true teaching that I continued to ponder on the drive. Reciprocity comes from genuine connection, knowing one another and not holding back, and doing our best to listen with our whole bodies and minds. What if I asked myself--what opportunity for giving is showing up right now? It may not be anything physical or monetary. Perhaps listening ears are one of the greatest gifts I can give. I had received a joy, indescribable, and returned to me.