In this season of giving, I’m aware more strongly than ever, of giving’s counterpoint ~~ receiving. When we’re expressing love and care to another, unless it’s truly desired, our giving may not be helpful, in fact, it could be a downright source of distress. I was in the home of an elderly couple recently and asked how they were doing. One answered, “Not so good, I had a meltdown.” When I asked what happened, she reached over and placed a Starbucks bag on the table in front of us. She proceeded to pull out two ginormous coffee mugs with little knitted sweaters (koozies) on each. I couldn't contain myself and busted out laughing--they looked like two square headless people wearing knitted tube tops.
The couple laughed along with me, saying, “These are so stinking heavy! With coffee in there, we can hardly lift them, even with two hands! By the time we put the little sweaters on—our beverage heat would go out the huge openings and be stone cold!” I added to the absurdity, "And, if you're like me and you dribble, the sweater is ruined!" Next, they told the story of receiving a coffee machine with all kinds of bells and whistles which was so confusing, they couldn’t get it to work and put it away for another day. Then, came two electric blankets, which they attempted to pass to me. “Christmas is so overwhelming!" was their conclusion. "We’re trying to downsize and in come all these gifts we just don’t need.”
Of course, these gifts were given because the couple are dearly loved, we didn't miss that greatest gift. Who is being served when we give what is not needed, or wanted?
After decompressing a bit, the three of us ticked down a project list: picking up deliveries from the front porch, putting the above gifts into a Goodwill pile!, breaking down cardboard boxes and taking them out to recyclables, considering a cycle for changing sheets on the bed, preparing the table for lunch, meeting the delivery driver and setting up the vittles. When I went to leave, the couple said, “This is what we needed today, you made life easier, thank you.” The smile on their faces, ease in their expressions and hugs were my greatest gifts that day.
As I got in the car and drove home, I had received a true teaching that I continued to ponder on the drive. Reciprocity comes from genuine connection, knowing one another and not holding back, and doing our best to listen with our whole bodies and minds. What if I asked myself--what opportunity for giving is showing up right now? It may not be anything physical or monetary. Perhaps listening ears are one of the greatest gifts I can give. I had received a joy, indescribable, and returned to me.
