Umba Anukliha - “She Runs Through Rain”

There’s a Native American ceremony that typically happens in the summer called Vision Quest, whereby a quester goes out in the elements without tent or modern comforts for four days and prays. The person often holds an intention in mind, not unlike the North Star idea of Inner Constellation. It was at Vision Quest ceremony that I first felt the raw energy of Creator, an elemental characteristic that up until then, I had yet to experience….

Heavy-laden skies seemed to pull in all the power that had gathered beneath them.  A steady rain fell as my three charges and I headed up the mountain towards their individual questing spots. I was assigned to be their “runner” and was responsible for knowing each person’s exact location and ensuring their safety while they visioned. Rain on my bare face and hands felt satisfying beyond words. One of my favorite forms of exercise was trail-running, and ever since I was a kid whenever the skies opened up, it was my goal to get out there and run. My mom used to warn me to listen for thunder and get in if I saw lightning. Now, I was a “runner” at a rainy Vision Quest. My gut felt the significance and my whole body buzzed with expectation. The land secured for the ceremony was deep within the Sierra Nevada range. There were no buildings for protection if the skies lit up, and I was thrilled!

Intentions of the Vision Quest were made clear as soon as all supporters made it back to camp: watch your charges carefully and keep the sacred fire burning. Fire is the heart of any Native American ceremony. It’s tended round-the-clock to ensure it doesn't go out, for that’s the equivalent of pulling the plug on ceremony. The sacred fire heatss the rocks for sweat lodge and receives the prayers of the people. Little did I know we were about to experience some of the worst rain storms ever to hit the Sierras in the summer. Within hours the rain turned torrential and ankle-deep mud rolled down the mountainside and into the fire pit. Supporters worked nonstop for four days to keep the fire burning for questers coming off the hill. All those hours of working the elements of fire and water moved me into what I can only describe as an altered state. "Runners” had taken a vow of silence which added to what constellated inside me. Luckily, singing was permitted, and sing I did—to a dwindling fire, to clouds covering the stars and moon, to myself and others when we were cold and discouraged. Some kind of hope stirred inside that kept my own fire burning for four days and three nights with no sleep and very limited food. I’ve not felt such energy since. I ran on fuel that was not my own. I saw the same raw power in the eyes of the questers who came off the hill and heard it in their voices and visions.

I’ve drawn from the same elemental source since and it hasn't run dry—it seems linked to transformation, that every single thing, no matter how challenging can be transformed and worked with: a gentle mist, constant shower, or a deluge. The vision quest story also highlights “Arrival,” the Inner Constellation idea that every moment holds potential for goodness and reaching one’s destination. Perhaps we don’t need to come in out of the rain or run inside if the sky appears to be falling but can work with the rain life offers and maybe even move through it. Here’s something to consider, maybe the rain is blessing or grace in disguise. We are little seeds showered with the fires of sunshine and also rain, both of which transform us into beautiful creations.