Death Trap Inside The Snow Globe!

 

I’m so thankful I practice mindfulness! Tahoe received about 3 foot of snow yesterday. and I went out late morning, prepared to move large quantities off my deck. I lifted the grate by my front door and began pushing the white stuff into the hole. After a few swipes, I rested by looking around at all the beauty, mesmerized by the snowflakes, and fully feeling the magic of being inside a snow globe. I pulled out my phone and began a little photo shoot. On one of the shots, I stepped back and literally felt space between my boot and where the deck should have been. Next thing I knew my torso exploded in pain as my arms flung straight out to keep me from falling all the way through the hole to the ground below! 

I didn’t scream, why I’m not sure, so my husband, although he heard the thud, didn’t realize I was in distress. I pulled myself up and out, crawled to the front door and was inside gasping like a crying fish, unable to take in air.  

We got me sat down, covered in a blanket, and I worked for the next several minutes to get my breathing cycle to a count of over 2 without pain. Once my body settled down, I began chastising myself—what a lame-brain move! Am I getting old or what!?! These thoughts were punctuated by the wisdom of my beloved who countered with, “You could have broken your back, your neck. Thank goodness you’re alive.” 

Safety...precious breath...warmth... absence of pain. These are things to be very grateful and aware. Although my first thought when I made impact was, “I ruptured an organ!” It appears as though I just bruised some ribs and fatigued the heck out of my upper body but beyond that, I’m very fortunate. Why, might you ask, are you glad you practice mindfulness? Um...you stepped into a hole that you created!

Firstly, staying with the breath to calm and soothe my pain was paramount. A dear mediation teacher once instructed that as long as we maintain the breath, we can find our way back to the body. Secondly, recognizing the insight of my beloved and the truth that he expressed has enabled me to be grateful beyond grateful for my strong body, arms to catch me when I fall, the support of my husband to turn around and go move massive snow without me and then, take care of my invalid self! 

There is another funny thing about the Death Trap Inside The Snow Globe that I’ve been playing around with. In Zen stories there are crazy events that lead to awakening—one falls off a cliff, gets struck by lightening....I indeed had such a moment! As I labored for air, trying to take a full breath, I just wanted the pain to go away, desperately. So desperately that I asked immediately for a Tylenol. Last time I took any kind of medicine for pain was when I broke my hand years ago. I don’t do pharmaceuticals, but in that moment, I did. The Death Trap event gave me empathy for those in Addiction Recovery where I work making the life choice to now face pain with the energy of mindfulness and gratitude rather than reaching for substances. Indeed, insight worth keeping. In the midst of a Death Trap there is a snow globe and in the midst of a snow globe, there is a death trap...OK, now I'm getting drunk on gratitude 🙏 Thank you, precious, precious breath!