Tomorrow turns the last week in Advent, so I’m just squeaking this post through in the nick of time. Week 3 ~ Joy arrived in the midst of the loss in of a beloved young one. Her sweet life provided an opportunity to practice with the possibility of experiencing joy in the midst of grief. The first flicker of joy I recognized stirring in my heart was just after setting up an altar in her honor. I walked into my living room to the brilliant glow of orange, pink and lavender light. My jaw dropped in awe as I looked for the source, a winter sunset aflame out my sliding glass doors. Colors reminded me of her favorite tie-dye shirt that she wore in the picture gracing my altar....
My beloved one continued so beautifully in the last moments of setting sun. I stepped into the cold, Tahoe eve and gave thanks for her life, her love, all those she touched and...I felt joy, I felt peace. My mind relaxed it’s hold, I stopped fighting the new reality and I let go. In those moments, I was reminded of something I said to my nephew upon the loss of my father. Knowing my nephew was the sensitive type, I had given him a head’s up, not to worry if I cried in a continual stream at the funeral. I was giving myself the entire day to grieve my loss, but then, when the day was done, I would bring to mind only the joys of my father’s life, not the sorrows. My nephew sat alongside me on the pew, held my hand and understood.
There is a line I read at night in remembrance of my Sunset Beloved that fills my mind with beautiful light— The peace and joy of the entire world, including the worlds of the living and the dead, depend on our own peace and joy in this moment. With all our hearts and one-pointed mind, let us begin anew for the benefit of ourselves and our beloved ones.*
The peace and joy of the entire world...depend on our own peace and joy in this moment. As week 3 of Advent closes, may joy prevail, catching our eyes when we least expect it, taking our breaths away and reminding that life is treasured and precious.
*Chanting from the Heart: Buddhist Ceremonies and Daily Practices by Thich Nhat Hanh
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