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Monday, August 10, 2020

Love Languages Amidst A Circus Act

In this time of COVID-19, we’ve heard many people lament the difficulties of physical and social distancing. Undoubtedly, when I hear our struggles, the Love Languages come to mind, and this question—how do you express your love? And, equally important—how do you best receive love?

Here are the five supposed Love Languages (there are probably far more than 5):

  • Kind Words (spoken or written)
  • Physical Touch
  • Deep Listening
  • Acts of Service
  • Gift Giving

What is your dominant expression of love? During this time of self-isolation (that word makes me cringe! Kind Words are my primary Love Language!)—I shall try again—during this time of sequestering away :) is it possible to practice developing Love Languages other than Physical Touch? How might we strengthen the other four? 

Here’s a most recent example of how this might play out. This weekend I was looking forward to a bit of writing (Love Language uno) but instead was needed to bend pipe! My husband is constructing a garden box for me (Love Language Acts of Service) and due to our cool and crisp Tahoe summers, plans include a cold-frame. However, to achieve a cold frame capable of supporting our snow load, we must...bend pipe. 

As we began this process, I joked (Love Language Kind Words) that we were performing a circus act. The Strong Man smiled, then, freakishly bent pipe while the Lovely Assistant held the pipe and sang carnival songs...until what we thought would be a couple hours, turned into late evening. The Lovely Assistant threatened to turn nasty until...yep, she remembered the Love Languages. I gratefully realized that I had the opportunity to practice an Act of (lengthy) Service to my adored Strong Man, our beautiful yard and the vegetables that will be so happy in the warmth of the cold frame. I bit my tongue and realized it takes mindfulness, tremendous awareness, especially in pandemic times, to care for one another and strengthen our love. 

Let us practice together, especially now—when we feel our resistances kick into high gear. For our friends who Speak the Language of Touch, might we find other ways to show them our love? Can we strengthen our recognition of what others need during this trying time? 

Life is a circus: sing, dance, bend pipe, practice the Love Languages and grow vegetables!